Magistrate: Now that it cannot be proven that you did any crime, you may leave the prison in honour.
Accused man: Sir! Am I allowed to commit a small crime for the two weeks I was kept in prison?
Teacher: When were you born?
Student: In 1982 B.U.
Teacher: and what does B.U. mean?
Student: It means Before Umar, who is my younger brother.
Friend to bald friend: Do you have any difficulty with your baldness?
Bald friend: The only difficulty I have is that when I start to wash my face, I don't know where to stop.